Category: This N’ That

The Honest Juggle is intended to be a blog for parenting topics, as much as a blog about ADHD, cats, books, and anything else that catches my interest. 

Therefore, I would be remiss if I didn’t start spending a little more time on the parenting aspect. 

This morning I was reflecting on my postpartum experience a few months ago, and that seemed like a good starting place.

Without delving into the emotional *stuff* (more on that later), here are my suggestions to prepare for postpartum. 

Mental Health Prep

• If you are already on anti-anxiety meds / antidepressants, and can safely do so (i.e. your dose isn’t so high that increasing would increase the likelihood of serious side effects), talk to your doctor about raising the dose prior to birth. This was the recommendation from my OB/GYN when I asked, and I believe it was very helpful.

• If you have the means (not necessarily talking about money) to do so, get yourself set up with a counselor before birth so that you are not on a waiting list if your mental health goes south. You can be straightforward and just tell them you want to get set up early to navigate the birth and postpartum period. 

Side note: despite the financial struggles we are navigating, the silver lining of leaving my job in December was that I was able to choose my own health insurance through the Marketplace. 

I made sure to pick one that covered mental health outpatient treatment at 100%. 

My former boss specifically did not believe in mental health support, and went out of his way to make sure the company’s health insurance didn’t cover it, which is a weird flex, but that’s a different story. (Yes, it was in his power, it was an extremely small business and the health insurance was only for his family and me as the only employee). 

Now, are all my Marketplace premiums paid up, and is everything smooth sailing?

No. 

I’m behind on my payments and the insurance is pricey. But it was 100% worth it to get set up with a counselor, even considering I was at first matched with a man. 

He was kind, but it wasn’t really the right fit. I just kept seeing him anyway and eventually switched to someone else who is a much better fit for me. 

Just a reminder that it doesn’t all have to be perfect. 

• Start having conversations (don’t get extreme and dark, keep things flexible) with your partner or those close to you. Something along the lines of, if you see me getting too down or acting oddly, I need you to help me with that. I need you to help me watch for that. 

I think just acknowledging the reality and possibility of postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, and postpartum psychosis can help, so that it’s not some big terrible sudden thing. If everyone is prepped to understand what could happen, people can help you watch for any concerning signs.

• Don’t commit to allowing visitors either at the hospital or later at home, but don’t say absolutely no, either. Really, try to forget about pleasing people and allow yourself the wiggle room to have guests or not, as you feel up to it.

• Keep your thoughts flexible. Do not tell yourself your home must be clean, or you have to breastfeed, or pump, or whatever. Let it flow as much as possible. Easier said than done, I recognize that.

• Go to the doctor if something feels off. Don’t minimize your symptoms. Just go get it checked out. 

Gear & Supplies

• Set up the bassinet, crib or other safe sleeping space in advance so that you are not trying to put little parts together in a postpartum haze. 
• Set up a changing area and have diapers, wipes, bottles, and little cotton sleepers and/or onesies in a few sizes. 
• Think “light and breezy.” 

You don’t need a nursery room. You don’t need everything cute and Pinterest worthy. You just need a safe place for the baby to sleep, a few bottles and a small can of basic formula in case the breastfeeding doesn’t work out, and a convenient, sturdy place to change diapers. From there, you can add what you need.

• Don’t go nuts on postpartum care supplies. I recommend the following: disposable underwear or adult diapers (enough for a few weeks), those cooling pads / padsicles (like this, this, or this) regular Epsom salts, Ibuprofen or Tylenol, and a value size package of big ol’ pads. 
• I got a donut pillow, and there were many people online who recommended one, but my personal experience was that this was a useless waste of money. I did pass it on to someone else, and I hope that they can get some use out of it.
• There are many herbal sprays that people swear by online, but all I will say is that the one time I used an herbal spray with glowing reviews was the one time I had a lot of pain down there while healing.

The hospital will typically give you a few simple items that work very well.

I never even opened the fancy peri bottle I got in advance because it looked complicated and the hospital gave me an extremely simple squeeze bottle that did the job perfectly. Here are the two helpful items my hospital gave me, in case your hospital doesn’t provide anything.

• Don’t stock up on breastfeeding/pumping supplies if you don’t yet know if you can breastfeed or pump. I ended up with a whole bunch of things I didn’t need. Fortunately, I didn’t open most of it, so I have since passed it on to someone else who is expecting. 

Remember: postpartum is unpredictable, messy, and different for everyone. Take what helps, leave what doesn’t, and be kind to yourself (and your partner, if applicable).