Financial strategies for women with ADHD
One of the challenges of living with ADHD is a persistent lack of consistency. This inconsistency may stem from impulsivity, executive dysfunction, memory issues, and/or a combination of these factors.
When it comes to managing finances, that inconsistency can create layers of difficulty. Below, I share a few ways that this inconsistency has played out in my life.
One important caveat I want to emphasize first is this: in my experience, people with ADHD are not unreliable or flaky, especially not when it comes to their core values. I feel strongly about that.
I do believe the structure of modern life and work in the U.S. is almost perfectly designed to trip up neurodivergent people. The endless stream of emails, meetings, calls, texts, logins, authentication apps, and more (let’s be honest) meaningless minutiae creates a kind of perfect storm of overwhelm.
Furthermore, if you also happen to have a few traits on the autism spectrum sprinkled on top of your ADHD sundae, the constant small talk, Teams messages, and social expectations of a typical office environment can be downright excruciating. Especially if you’re unlucky enough to land in one of those workplaces where the wrong “tone” in a message can be a fireable offense.
So, while I may use self-deprecating humor below to make my point, I want to be crystal clear: people with ADHD are not inherently incapable. Absolutely not. It’s a mismatch between how some of us are wired and the systems we have to function within.
1) Job performance inconsistency
I’ve always been a strong performer at work – kind of.
I start out feeling good and often receive glowing praise, but inside I find myself overwhelmed by any additional duties or social interactions, or I fall apart for a few days and call out sick and then have to make excuses to cover.
Add to that the fact that most days my self-esteem is pretty low. Despite a rational awareness of this, it has been very difficult to improve because the self-doubt is actually rooted in a rational awareness that I am inconsistent: in knowing that while I might be strong and sharp today, tomorrow I might wake up with brain fog.
Finally, the chef’s kiss, as I begin to let myself down, I remember that oh yeah, it’s because I suck (self-talk improvement is on my to-do list), so then I assume that others think that too. And then I begin to attribute their words and behaviors to what I believe is their negative perception of me, which becomes confusing to them because they apparently had a positive (or at least neutral) perception of me. Because they don’t know I suck. Welcome to the roller coaster.
I’d love to spare myself and employers the trouble of the above described cycle, but I still have to pay the bills, so therefore I have to show up and pretend to be unaware of all of this until the day when I just can’t take all the noise in my head anymore…and I leave the job.
It’s hard to keep earning more and more when you keep quitting your entry level job to start other entry level jobs.
(Of course, I am working on setting more realistic expectations for myself in the first place and finding better management strategies, so that I can overcome the noise without leaving the job.)
2) Forgetting strategies that have worked in the past, or having to relearn strategies and skills repeatedly
Self-explanatory, I think, for many people with ADHD.
Totally baffling to any person without ADHD.
I’ll master a skill or a philosophy for a while, and then one day find myself struggling. I’ll start to investigate and implement solutions, and often find that I’m just relearning something I used to know, the evidence for that being that I’ll come across some old files or notes, or someone will remind me of a conversation I once had on the topic.
3) Impulsive life changes
Case in point:
I finally had a nice retirement account going. I even had one or two investments outside of the retirement account.
Then, my roommate wanted his brother to move in, so I decided it was finally my opportunity to pursue buying a house.
Once I was in the house, an old house with plenty of problems, I promptly became overwhelmed by all of the repairs needed and aesthetic flourishes wanted.
Bye bye retirement fund, but that’s not all. Hello crippling credit card and personal loan debt, in the space of just three years.
4) Sugar addiction
Or whatever your addiction of choice is.
In addition to all of these more major things that make it difficult to perform financially, there is also the simple fact that I like to buy little snacks to make myself feel better, and all of those little snacks or coffees add up to a lot of money.
But, I got off easy. There are many people with ADHD whose little treats and addictions are real addictions, whether it be alcohol, other drugs, or gambling, which makes all the other struggles exponentially more difficult.
Moving on
Whew! That was a rough assessment of how ADHD had impacted my financial performance in various less than obvious ways.
And in my case, I was considered “smart” as a child and young adult, which means these challenges don’t make sense to many people around me (and sometimes not to me either).
I had a high ACT score, I was a straight A student, I was on the Dean’s List in college, but as any seasoned adult knows, particularly those who fall in the so-called neurodivergent category, none of that means squat in “the real world”.
Let’s pivot to solutions.
What can the ADHD woman do to improve her financial performance? In my follow-up posts, I am going to include some tips from my own experience, as well as look to see what others have to say on the topic.
Note: I am speaking to women with ADHD on this topic simply because there is already a lot of variety in terms of how ADHD can manifest. There are additional big differences between the male ADHD experience and the female ADHD experience, not to mention the variations possible when you factor in other gender identities.
No matter who you are, if you find something worthwhile or helpful in these posts, then yay! And welcome! But I’m going to generally speak to women in order to maintain a somewhat manageable topic focus.
Read Part 2: Tips that make sense here.
