adhd women finance - The Honest Juggle

Financial strategies for women with ADHD

ADHD is not one size fits all, and neither are the financial strategies that will work best.

However, there are some common financial strategies that tend to be most effective for people with ADHD, and some that may be less than helpful or even detrimental.

Automated Savings Transfers

Automated savings transfers can be your best friend.

Two caveats to note:

No matter how you set it up, this will work best if you have no access or visibility to the savings account without jumping through several hoops. In other words, a savings account tied directly to your checking, especially if you can easily move that money with two clicks, will likely not be effective.
If you can set it up so that an amount is directly deposited into another account entirely with each paycheck, that will typically work very well. Again, this assumes you do not have easy access to the savings account.

For some, it may be very helpful to explore setting up a savings account with a small, local bank that has limited mobile banking functions. The more you can create little barriers for yourself in accessing that savings account impulsively, the better this strategy will work.

Personally, I’ve also had success with setting up add-on CDs. These are CDs into which you can deposit money, but you cannot easily move the funds without contacting the bank, and you will incur a financial penalty if you move it before the CD matures. Again, it may be helpful to look at smaller, local banks that lack robust mobile banking. You do also usually have to deposit a certain amount to open an add-on CD, but there are options that are as low as $250.00.

If you read about add-on CDs online, you will find many experts telling you that they don’t have the highest interest rates. That’s true, but you need to be clear on why you are doing it. A high interest rate is of no use to a person who can’t hold on to a few bucks to save their life. The point isn’t the interest rate. The point is the additional obstacles inherent in a CD that stops you from sabotaging you.

To circle back a little to another point, the ease of moving money around these days through mobile banking apps, at least when it comes to savings, can work against people with ADHD.

When I think about this, I think about a former co-worker whose husband was extremely impulsive (for what reasons, I don’t know). She opened a savings account at a small, local bank in the next town over, refused to get checks for it, and cut up the debit card when it arrived. She would withdraw cash from her regular checking account each paycheck, stick it in an envelope, and drop it in the deposit dropbox after hours. Her husband was not listed on the account, though he was aware of it and, in theory, supported the idea of saving.

I’m not saying you have to set up another person to keep you away from your money (though maybe you do), but the idea of setting up a bank account where you deposit cash only, with no additional interactions, upselling calls, or mobile banking, could be something to consider.

Autopay

Put as many bills as possible on autopay, assuming you have adequate cash flow to cover them.

You may need to enlist the help of a trusted family member or friend to get everything set up and ensure that your cash flow will support it. But once it’s in place, and if you can maintain your income, this will be incredibly helpful.

Say No to Credit Cards

I didn’t have a credit card until I was probably 25. I miss those days and wish I had resisted the urge to get one.

If you’re particularly impulsive with spending on little things here and there, do not even let yourself have a credit card.

To add to that: do not do business with a bank that constantly tries to get you to open one after you’ve said no. Banks are not your friends, and they are actively working against you when they do this.

If you insist that you must have a credit card to build credit, do this:

Get a credit card with a low limit.
Put one single bill on autopay on that credit card.
Set up an automatic transaction from your checking to pay that bill.
Cut up the credit card and never look at the account again (unless the card expires, etc.)
Do not even think about researching credit cards with fancy rewards programs.

People will talk to you about how you need to request a bigger limit or use more of the credit to increase your score.

Ignore those people.

This method, of putting one single bill on your credit card and setting up an auto pay to pay off the credit card each month, will be enough to get your credit score into the range where you will have access to a favorable interest rate on a mortgage or car loan.

Once you are in that range, a higher credit score than good enough honestly will not make any material difference.

Cash Envelope Method

If you aren’t familiar with the cash envelope method of money management, you can get an overview online here, including some pros and cons.

The cash envelope method is particularly effective if you do the following:

Set up your automated savings, either by direct depositing to a separate savings account at a different institution, or by setting up an automatic transfer each payday to a separate savings account. I recommend the direct deposit option; it’s more effective.
Get all your bills on autopay.
Sit down and figure out your weekly expenses for groceries, household supplies, gas, and other small purchases (it’s okay to build in a little for snacks or treats).
Cut up all the credit cards and debit cards.
Swing by the bank the Saturday after each payday (or whatever day works for you) and withdraw the predetermined amount of cash from step 3.
You now only have that amount of cash to spend.

Now, other financial types might say: But what about an emergency? You need a credit card or a debit card!

Here’s the truth: Yes, there are always pros and cons to any strategy. But the system above will work for you if you’re the kind of person who mostly shops at the same stores, uses the same bank, and goes to work every day.

If you travel for business, maybe that’s a different story.

But a lot of contemporary financial advice will only help you to rationalize feeding the beast. The emergencies! You need to build your credit! You need mobile banking for full transparency!

Well, maybe. Only you can weigh all of that out. But those people saying you need, need, need are going to be nowhere to be found when you’re trying to figure out how to file for bankruptcy or avoid eviction or foreclosure.

Is that extreme? Maybe. Maybe not. I’m staring foreclosure in the face right now, and I can tell you: I didn’t think it would happen to me and there’s certainly no one jumping in to help, despite this kind of cute faux-concern. Because the cute faux-concern is intended to sell you things, and most likely friends and family who repeat that advice don’t have to fight themselves every single day just to keep going.

My point is, get real about your likely level of impulsiveness, and put protections in place. The system above does work, and has worked for me.

But if you abandon it and find yourself underwater (like I am right now), a Band-Aid won’t repair a bullet hole, as the saying goes.

Limit Your Consumption-Oriented Content

If you know you have a weakness for pretty things (maybe cozy home accessories make you lose your mind, or the latest tech gets your heart pumping) then you need to do the following:

Avoid consumption-driven media. Don’t read online shopping listicles. Don’t watch videos about the latest tech. Stay far away from clothing “haul” videos or anything that encourages you to buy, buy, buy.

In short, again: do not feed the beast, people!

Or at least try to put him on a diet, but I think in this case cold turkey is best.

Above all, think about the K.I.S.S. philosophy: Keep It Simple, Silly.

Do your banking with two banks only. Maximum of three.
If you must have a credit card, make it one. Maximum of two.
Do whatever you can not to open accounts with every bank or lender offering whatever tempting incentive.

If things do go south—hopefully only temporarily so—, and you haven’t kept it simple, you’ll find yourself tangled in an overwhelming web of accounts, transfers, autopays, and confusion. I’m speaking from experience here.

Be very cautious with the following strategies:

Hiring a financial planner or coach. Yes, this can be awesome with the right fit! But there are a lot of unethical people out there, with hidden fees, shady practices, or just a lack of experience disguised in pretty packaging. Even if you find someone “ethical” by industry standards, remember: they won’t act in your best interests unless your best interests align perfectly with theirs.
Personal finance apps. Oh yeah, they all sound like magic solutions. But they aren’t. You’ll likely end up with a bunch of apps cluttering your phone, you’ll have given out your personal information everywhere, and you’ll probably feel more scattered and confused than ever. Just say no.
Complicated investment schemes. Plenty of people will argue with me here, but if your friend approaches you about house flipping, investing in rental properties, buying a property together, or something more nebulous, be extremely cautious. It’s very easy to get in over your head. If you’re in over your head with a neurotypical person, it could spell the end of your relationship, or even leave you holding the bag in a serious way.
Ditto for complicated tax strategies. I’ve worked in a tax office and am in the process of eventually obtaining my Enrolled Agent tax credential (currently stalled out on that due to the cost of getting it all done, even though it’s much more accessible than a CPA credential!). So let me point out something here that many people generally don’t seem to understand. Hiring a tax preparer DOES NOT absolve you of responsibility for your tax returns and records and does not protect you from consequences. If you have managed to hire an ethical tax preparer, they will help you navigate and fight any disputes, yes. But their name on your tax return means squat as far as avoiding repercussions for something that the IRS or state taxing authority takes issue with.

Do I sound like I’m taking a very defensive stance here? You betcha. The world is as predatory as it ever was, and people with ADHD make for very tasty prey (until their bank accounts are drained, of course).

Read Part 1: Challenges upon challenges here.

AI generated image with additional edits by Nina Harper

Financial strategies for women with ADHD

One of the challenges of living with ADHD is a persistent lack of consistency. This inconsistency may stem from impulsivity, executive dysfunction, memory issues, and/or a combination of these factors.

When it comes to managing finances, that inconsistency can create layers of difficulty. Below, I share a few ways that this inconsistency has played out in my life.

One important caveat I want to emphasize first is this: in my experience, people with ADHD are not unreliable or flaky, especially not when it comes to their core values. I feel strongly about that.

I do believe the structure of modern life and work in the U.S. is almost perfectly designed to trip up neurodivergent people. The endless stream of emails, meetings, calls, texts, logins, authentication apps, and more (let’s be honest) meaningless minutiae creates a kind of perfect storm of overwhelm.

Furthermore, if you also happen to have a few traits on the autism spectrum sprinkled on top of your ADHD sundae, the constant small talk, Teams messages, and social expectations of a typical office environment can be downright excruciating. Especially if you’re unlucky enough to land in one of those workplaces where the wrong “tone” in a message can be a fireable offense.

So, while I may use self-deprecating humor below to make my point, I want to be crystal clear: people with ADHD are not inherently incapable. Absolutely not. It’s a mismatch between how some of us are wired and the systems we have to function within.

1) Job performance inconsistency

I’ve always been a strong performer at work – kind of.

I start out feeling good and often receive glowing praise, but inside I find myself overwhelmed by any additional duties or social interactions, or I fall apart for a few days and call out sick and then have to make excuses to cover.

Add to that the fact that most days my self-esteem is pretty low. Despite a rational awareness of this, it has been very difficult to improve because the self-doubt is actually rooted in a rational awareness that I am inconsistent: in knowing that while I might be strong and sharp today, tomorrow I might wake up with brain fog.

Finally, the chef’s kiss, as I begin to let myself down, I remember that oh yeah, it’s because I suck (self-talk improvement is on my to-do list), so then I assume that others think that too. And then I begin to attribute their words and behaviors to what I believe is their negative perception of me, which becomes confusing to them because they apparently had a positive (or at least neutral) perception of me. Because they don’t know I suck. Welcome to the roller coaster.

I’d love to spare myself and employers the trouble of the above described cycle, but I still have to pay the bills, so therefore I have to show up and pretend to be unaware of all of this until the day when I just can’t take all the noise in my head anymore…and I leave the job.

It’s hard to keep earning more and more when you keep quitting your entry level job to start other entry level jobs.

(Of course, I am working on setting more realistic expectations for myself in the first place and finding better management strategies, so that I can overcome the noise without leaving the job.)

2) Forgetting strategies that have worked in the past, or having to relearn strategies and skills repeatedly

Self-explanatory, I think, for many people with ADHD.

Totally baffling to any person without ADHD.

I’ll master a skill or a philosophy for a while, and then one day find myself struggling. I’ll start to investigate and implement solutions, and often find that I’m just relearning something I used to know, the evidence for that being that I’ll come across some old files or notes, or someone will remind me of a conversation I once had on the topic.

3) Impulsive life changes

Case in point:

I finally had a nice retirement account going. I even had one or two investments outside of the retirement account.

Then, my roommate wanted his brother to move in, so I decided it was finally my opportunity to pursue buying a house.

Once I was in the house, an old house with plenty of problems, I promptly became overwhelmed by all of the repairs needed and aesthetic flourishes wanted.

Bye bye retirement fund, but that’s not all. Hello crippling credit card and personal loan debt, in the space of just three years.

4) Sugar addiction

Or whatever your addiction of choice is.

In addition to all of these more major things that make it difficult to perform financially, there is also the simple fact that I like to buy little snacks to make myself feel better, and all of those little snacks or coffees add up to a lot of money.

But, I got off easy. There are many people with ADHD whose little treats and addictions are real addictions, whether it be alcohol, other drugs, or gambling, which makes all the other struggles exponentially more difficult.

Moving on

Whew! That was a rough assessment of how ADHD had impacted my financial performance in various less than obvious ways.

And in my case, I was considered “smart” as a child and young adult, which means these challenges don’t make sense to many people around me (and sometimes not to me either).

I had a high ACT score, I was a straight A student, I was on the Dean’s List in college, but as any seasoned adult knows, particularly those who fall in the so-called neurodivergent category, none of that means squat in “the real world”.

Let’s pivot to solutions.

What can the ADHD woman do to improve her financial performance? In my follow-up posts, I am going to include some tips from my own experience, as well as look to see what others have to say on the topic.

Note: I am speaking to women with ADHD on this topic simply because there is already a lot of variety in terms of how ADHD can manifest. There are additional big differences between the male ADHD experience and the female ADHD experience, not to mention the variations possible when you factor in other gender identities.

No matter who you are, if you find something worthwhile or helpful in these posts, then yay! And welcome! But I’m going to generally speak to women in order to maintain a somewhat manageable topic focus.

Read Part 2: Tips that make sense here.

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